All-Bryan Bullington Sucks Team

SUCK.

This list is inspired by the Pittsburgh Pirates el dubiouso #1 overall pick of Bryan Bullshitton. There were so many quality players selected after Bullington that you could field a pretty decent team of them, and I did with players chosen in the top three rounds. Here is a 25-man roster taken from the 2002 draft, you may notice the #1 overall pick is not included...

C: Brian McCann, Atlanta Braves #64 overall pick

1B: Prince Fielder, Milwaukee Brewers #7 overall pick

2B: B.J. Upton, Tampa Bay [Devil] Rays #2 overall pick

3B: Mark Teahen, Oakland Athletics #39 overall pick

SS: Khalil Greene, San Diego Padres #13 overall pick

LF: Denard Span, Minnesota Twins #20 overall pick

CF: Curtis Granderson, Detroit Tigers #80 overall pick

RF: Nick Swisher, Oakland Athletics #16 overall pick

BN: James Loney 1B, Los Angeles Dodgers #19 overall pick
BN: Jeremy Hermida RF, Florida Marlins #11 overall pick
BN: Jeff Francoeur RF, Atlanta Braves #23 overall pick
BN: Joey Votto 1B, Cincinnati Reds #44 overall pick

SP: Zack Greinke, Kansas City Royals #6 overall pick

SP: Joe Saunders, Los Angeles Angels #12 overall pick

SP: Jon Lester, Boston Red Sox #57 overall pick

SP: Cole Hamels, Philadelphia Phillies #17 overall pick

SP: Matt Cain, San Francisco Giants #25 overall pick

LR: Scott Kazmir, New York Mets #15 overall pick
LR: Joe Blanton, Oakland Athletics #24 overall pick
LR: Jeremy Guthrie, Cleveland Indians #22 overall pick
LR: David Bush, Toronto Blue Jays #55 overall pick

RP: Kevin Jepsen, Los Angeles Angels #53 overall pick

RP: Jesse Crain, Minnesota Twins #61 overall pick

CL: Jonathan Broxton, Los Angeles Dodgers #60 overall pick

I know it is tough to scout baseball players at a young age, but it is hard to deny that Pittsburgh screwed up big time. There are a lot of first round picks on this "roster" and any one of them could still be on the Pirates' roster right now, if not at least traded away for some young talent (ugh). The lineup is above average, but all five of those starting pitchers could end up being Cy Young competitors.

If I could have any of these players on here, I would take Prince Fielder. Zach Greinke, Matt Cain and Jon Lester are cool and everything, but at this point none of them are 100% proven; Fielder, on the other hand, is. He was the only Major Leaguer to play in all 162 games last season and is a legit 50 homerun guy every single year. Not only that, but his defense has improved dramatically and his fire and passion for the game is visible every single day.

I suppose that is the counterpoint...

Yes he is overweight (understatement of a lifetime), but he is a ballplayer, unlike Bry-Guy Bullington. Too bad there are as many donuts on that bat that Bullington has career appearances. Stooge.

Note: This is my first Pittsburgh Pirates related post on this site... STUNNED.